“How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before it’s afternoon. December is here before it’s June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?” – Dr. Seuss
Things have been whirling by, leaving me frazzled and flustered and always two steps behind and two dollars short.
I know when I start to feel this way it means I have over-committed myself, always with the best of intentions but with regrettable results. It usually means I have temporarily lost sight of why.
Why I jumped off the hamster wheel.
Why there are some days when being totally exhausted and being totally happy can coexist in perfect harmony.
Why there are some days when they do not.
I’ve struggled with holding myself back. I know, through experience, that I have to make myself say “no”, and “that’s enough” even though my instinct is to say “Oh I can do that! Let me take that over!”
At work there’s always a project that sounds interesting and I’m tempted to volunteer more of my time than I am able. And even when I have the presence of mind to reign myself in, I do so with a sigh.
At my childrens’ schools, there is always something I think I could improve or some way I want to help out. But I’m over-zealous. And I often regret the commitments I make when I realize that, once again, there are not enough hours in a day.
It always comes from a good place. But it ends up with me getting trapped in a bad place.
The place where the day has gone by and I’ve missed it all because my mind has been elsewhere.
The place where I am short-tempered because I am overwhelmed.
The place where I’m checking emails instead of playing with my little lovies.
The place where the day is over before it has even started and I haven’t managed to share a significant moment with either of them, or at least not one I can recall.
This is the bad place – where the irretrievable hours of a day in their lives have ticked by – and I haven’t enjoyed it with them.
So that’s where I have to stop.
I have to accept that others may be disappointed in me, that I may be frustrated with myself for not having eight arms and three brains, and that’s just going to have to be okay.
Because I won’t have them be disappointed in me.
And I won’t live a life where the sun has set and the day is done before I’ve managed to take a few deep breaths and just absorb them.
Chubby baby skin must be smooshy kissed and enjoyed.
Little Boy hugs must be squeezed and cherished.
And that is all that HAS to be done today.
Linking up with Yeah Write on the Hangout Grid.
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