by Jennifer on October 22, 2013

I looked up from my work and realized he was gone, that there was only one other little body in the room, not the two I expected.

I did a quick scan of the areas I could immediately see to determine if he was hiding behind a couch with a horde of Iron Men, talking to himself, or if he had built a quilt fort somewhere I hadn’t noticed…but nothing, he was gone.

In his room, surely, where he spends more and more of his time these days.  I know part of it is having a little brother who wants to play with his big brother all of the time and as an older sibling myself, I understand the need for space and privacy.

But I miss having him in front of me all of the time.

I miss overhearing his two-sided conversations.  They told me so much about what was going on in his life and his thoughts.

And I know that is part of growing up and getting older, a gradual need for a slow separation.

That doesn’t mean I have to like it or that I do not miss him.

As parents we often want them to stay little forever, because that means they stay close.  And the emptiness in the living room now is a reminder of the more permanent emptiness that will come some day, long before I’m ready.

But the important thing is that it comes when he is ready.  This is his childhood, I’m just lucky enough to be along for the ride.


I’m back at Yeah Write this week after a prolonged absence.  I would blame that on a couple of things but who really cares, why?  Missed y’all!


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Karen October 22, 2013 at 10:36 pm

“This is his childhood, I’m just lucky enough to be along for the ride.” I love that ending.

The growing up part seems to happen unbelievably fast.

Robbie October 22, 2013 at 10:37 pm

And what a ride it is huh?
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TriGirl October 22, 2013 at 11:23 pm

Every time I read one of your posts, “bittersweet” is the word that comes to mind. Seriously. Every time.
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Janelle October 22, 2013 at 11:28 pm

Oldest child here! Sounds about right! :)

Ice Scream Mama October 23, 2013 at 4:43 am

growing up is tough… for the parents just as much as the kids.

Michelle Longo October 23, 2013 at 6:26 am

Nice to see you back here at yeah write and in my inbox!!
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zoe October 23, 2013 at 7:32 am

Now that my kid is grown I realize the ride is still moving just at a different speed… I assume once he has kids it will pick up speed again.

Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings October 23, 2013 at 11:18 am

What a great post on parenting and letting go… loved it.
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Sarah October 23, 2013 at 12:25 pm

At 6 and 4 my kids are very much all over me still. I try to stop myself from wishing for a small separation, for silence during daylight hours, knowing soon enough they will be too big to enjoy my company so much.

Beautiful post.
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Gina October 23, 2013 at 6:09 pm

It’s so hard when their wings begin to sprout!

christie October 23, 2013 at 9:08 pm

Oh yes, along for the ride. I’m so misty eyed at the independence that comes over them.

Linda Roy - elleroy was here October 24, 2013 at 8:09 am

Oh, this is so true. I love the way you put it. Beautiful. We may not be ready but they are and that’s what’s important. Thank you for that lovely reminder.
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Kristin October 24, 2013 at 12:53 pm

I definitely relate. I’ve had the “can’t see the person I expected to” pit in my stomach feeling a few times.
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