We are mammals. By definition, we nurse our children.
It has been that way from the beginning of our time on this earth.
So why does everyone get their britches in a bundle when we see it with our own two eyes?
I am a huge proponent of breastfeeding. I think it is wonderful for the baby, for the Mommy, for the family as a whole, and for society in general. Breastfeeding helps create healthy babies, it promotes the attachment between Mommy and baby, and you know what else? It’s free. Free food. Free, healthy food.
But really, I’m just sick of the debate. My ears hurt from all the talky-talky about this topic. We all know it’s healthier (unless you smoke crack, take certain medications or practice uncontrolled alcohol consumption), we all know you should do it if you can, so there really isn’t anything left to talk about.
But every time I turn around, there’s some NEW CONTROVERSY.
Oreo made a perfectly cute and clever ad showing a woman breastfeeding and the internet erupted with conflict.
I thought this ad was not only incredibly clever but very cute. Sure, it’s using breastfeeding to shill junkfood but really, it looks like something created by Don Draper himself.
Today Moms basically accused it of being porn. They claimed it was sexualized because the woman’s breast had been photoshopped (aren’t all ads photoshopped?!) and wasn’t covered in stretch marks and blemishes.
I see nothing sexual, lewd or offensive in that photo.
Now THIS is a photo I find offensive:
That black slash right there? Yeah, that’s what we use to cover up things that are disgusting, things that are inappropriate for public consumption, things that shouldn’t be seen in society. That is the photo Today Moms used.
Maybe I shouldn’t be so sensitive, but to imply that what we do, as mothers, to nourish our children is the equivalent of some back-rack nudie mag hurts my heart.
Time Magazine created a sensation this week by putting a picture of a mom breastfeeding an older child on the cover.
I don’t love the photo. It’s not what I would characterize as beautiful or sweet (unlike the Oreo ad) and frankly, the kid just looks like a brat which makes it all even worse. Obviously, Time Magazine was trying to push some buttons and create controversy by featuring an older child but what I don’t understand is…
Why is this still news?!
It won’t be considered “the norm” until it is no longer a sensation, until it is no longer a “cause”.
If you are a breastfeeding supporter and you want breastfeeding to be the generally accepted course of action in the same way wearing shoes is the general course of action when you walk out the door (again, not intending to offend those who choose not to wear shoes because they are unable or take medication that makes wearing shoes unworkable), it just can’t be a news item. Clearly we are not there yet.
But we should be. It is time. Women have been breastfeeding babies for as long as there have been women and babies. It’s time we got over it, don’t you think?
Why is it a problem in our society to see a woman’s breast in the context of her nursing her child? The fact that there is a baby attached to her nipple should immediately negate any sexual (and therefore inappropriate) connotation. I actually heard a radio announcer proclaim on his show this morning that if it’s all about the nutrition, why can’t you just pump it and feed the baby with a bottle?
BOOOOM! That was the sound of my head exploding.
Because we want to avoid putting those boobs that exist to give the men something to ogle at and play with anywhere near a baby’s mouth?
Of all places a breast should be, in a baby’s mouth is number one.
We have boobs because that is how we feed our babies.
I’m reminded of former United States Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart’s declaration on what constitutes obscenity, “I know it when I see it.” What is sexual or obscene and therefore deserving of being hidden from decent society is in the eye of the beholder. If you look at a breastfeeding mother and baby and you see something prurient, the problem lies not with the breastfeeding or the breast, the problem lies with YOU.
And I have a very simple solution for you…look away.
Other thoughtful posts on this topic can by found here:
Ado at The Momalog – Are You Mom Enough?
Shiftless Mommie – Enough
Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms – Are You Mom Enough Not to Take the Bait?
Scary Mommy – It’s Time to End the Mommy Wars
Mondays With Mac – Something Awesome Happened on the Way to the Time Magazine Cover
Follow me on Twitter Find me on Facebook
Want new posts delivered straight to your inbox? Subscribe by Email!
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
I was considering not writing about the Time cover, because I was so tired of the conversation, but then I did…because I was so tired of the conversation. I agree. I don’t understand why this is still a topic, but then you hear people like your lovely radio host asking women to pump. Still, I would like to just tell people like him to shut up and move on, rather than have a debate over whether my bottle (of breastmilk or formula) makes it harder for someone else to breastfeed.
You are right. In the end, the problem is with the radio dolt, not with either of the mothers.
EDITOR’S NOTE: I’m a klutz and unintentionally removed the CommenLuv link to Shiftless Mommie’s post and can’t figure out how to reverse that action. It can be found here. http://www.shiftlessmommie.com/2012/05/enough.html
I agree. I think most women are over the this-is-better debate and realize it is harmful all around. As a society, though, we have GOT to get over the idea that it is something “private” and unfit for public consumption (pun intended).
You are so right. If you don’t like it look away. If you feel uncomfortable walk away. Its a wonderful, beautiful thing that women are able to breastfeed.
And pretty miraculous that Mommys have their very own superpower.
Awesome. I know it when I see it. In this case, I know it when I read it. Great take on the Great Debate and I agree with you about the little black thingy they place on pics. That makes me mad too. Thanks for joining the discussion in such a thoughtful way. Erin
Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms recently posted..Are You Mom Enough Not To Take The Bait?
It’s funny how that one little line has such a what-you-do-is-dirty connotation. I know not everyone wants to breastfeed – to each his/her own (I formula fed my first and breastfeed my second so I’ve been on both sides of that fence) but when something that seems so beautiful and natural to you is treated that way it makes you sick. It felt like somebody took a big black marker to my favorite baby photo.
I love this line the most:
Of all places a breast should be, in a baby’s mouth is number one.
Yes, this. I’m breastfeeding my newborn and I realized how much I missed nursing. It’s the most natural thing to do in the world.
Great post.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..The Race
Thanks Alison! Congratulations on the little one! I saw a tweet fly by the other day that mentioned you had delivered the baby. I’m going to come by your blog to see if I can catch a glimpse!
I was struggling with whether or not I should write about this issue on my own blog. I don’t want to add ‘energy’ to what I feel is a frivolous conversation–I mean really? Don’t we have more important things to talk about? How about being mom enough to stick around, to be an admirable role model, to live a life worth celebrating? There are amazing moms and terrible moms, and those descriptions have nothing to do with breastfeeding or co-sleeping. I’m with you–it makes me crazy. Great post.
Lisa recently posted..Why I Want My Kids to Be Like Forrest Gump
Agreed. Those are all things that are much more determinative of what it means to be a good mom.
“We have boobs because that is how we feed our babies.” Love that line!
Stopping by from SITS. Happy Saturday.
misssrobin recently posted..Gay Marriage and My Heart
I agree. I’m amazed at what a huge deal they are making about it when it’s the most natural thing in the world. I agree, it is time society got over it. There are more controversial things in the world – nursing a baby is not one of them.
Melanie recently posted..Snapshots of Spring…
Exactly.
What about breastfeeding is disgusting?
I’m personally more disgusted by seeing someone’s whale tail peeking out of their jeans. Or by people who use gym equipment and don’t wipe it down. Or by women who refuse to sit on a toilet seat and splash pee all over when hovering.
Breastfeeding? Nah, that doesn’t bother me. Probably why I had no issue nursing my daughter anywhere and anytime she was hungry. I think more people would have been bothered by her screaming for food…
I;ve stopped by from the Write on Edge weekend linkup — thank you!
IASoupMama recently posted..The Moment a Mother is Born: Me
I agree completely. Before I was a breastfeeding mom, the idea seemed a little awkward to me (never disgusting) but now it seems as natural as reaching for your baby when it cries. I get so frustrated by the reaction of some people that because it involves a boob, it should be hidden. Thanks for coming by from Write on Edge.
i just think the whole thing is annoying – Who really cares??
It’s just TIME magazine trying to sell magazines and we are falling for it….
Ladygoogoogaga recently posted..10 Reasons Why My Kids are Lucky to Have Me as their Mother